“No man is an island”
I’m sure all of us have heard that phrase at least once in our lifetime. No doubt we spend our lives searching for that other half that makes us a whole. But what happens when you actually find him or her. I personally believe each and every one of us fall in love numerous times with different people. That’s why there are ex girlfriends and ex husbands and those friends you don’t speak to anymore because they find out you’re in love with them and it makes it plain awkward. So when I ask my current about his past relationships (I’m very nosy) and he says he “never loved them,” well that phrase just doesn’t fly with me. Not only is it untrue, if that were the case, how am I so sure that I won’t be the next person tossed into the “never loved them” pile?
I’m certainly no relationship expert but from what I’ve experienced, the key to a long-lasting, successful relationship (for me) is to never stop chasing and wooing your significant other. Never stop flirting and never hesitate to show how much you love them with small, meaningful gestures. Now that doesn’t mean you go out and buy expensive flowers or jewelry every month (or week!) just to please them. I believe that would fall into the category of high maintenance. It also doesn’t mean you should do all the dishes and always pick up after them. They’ll probably get used to it and take it for granted. I’m sure everyone has their own thing they do to keep it hot and spicy in their relationship but I enjoy the simple things. Handwritten love notes found in random places, just because cards, surprise date nights. Thoughtful things like that mean the absolute world to me.
And I guess I’m writing this because well…things just haven’t been like that at all. What happens when one person gets too…comfortable. They think everything is going honky dory because they’re content but the other person, not so much. When the words used to describe how one feels about being unhappy comes off as selfish and insecure and leads into a huge argument. Each relationship you have with each person is indubitably different. One might have a great sense of humor and you’re laughing with them all the time and the other might be serious and all you have are intellectual conversations. It’s hard to find someone who you can laugh with and cry with. What happens when you cry so much you miss the laughter. And what if the laughter is simply nonexistent anymore.
I think the most dangerous thing one can do in a relationship is to fall into a routine. Wake up, work, come home, cook, tv, shower, sleep. Everyday is the same thing. There’s no element of surprise or romance. And of course I take into consideration the fact that a lot of couples have children. And while family relationships are very important, mom dad child, what about the “couple” relationship that used to be there before the child was born. Do we stop working on those relationships because there’s a child now? What if your other half fails to see the importance of maintaining that delicate thread of love with you? What do you do if you feel like you’re being taken for granted?
Life is full of lessons and I guess I’m still in the midst of this one. I haven’t figured it out yet. I don’t know if I ever will. All I know is to take each day as it comes and try my best to be happy.
Until next time,
Mrs. Uncle Bob